Getting Away, Giving Way

Sorry for not posting for awhile. I've been in the Philippines and I'm having an amazing time. Great time with family! I've had the opportunity to "get away" from it all and just bask in pure joy. I'm taking an extended Sabbath if I could say.

Time with my grandmother has been quite an experience. I don't get to see my grandmother as often as most do, and she's been great. She's so funny, even though she is deaf. She does an amazing job reading lips though.

I've been doing alot of thinking and it's been good. The Holy Spirit has been revealing many things to me and I need to learn how to heed to the Spirit. I thought I had the gift of discernment but situations are proving me wrong. I trust that they are. I believe I will end my thought: that I once believed I had discernment. I'm just not good at it. I thought I was good at discerning, but it's time to end my pursuit of a God given gift that I once thought I possessed. Goodbye discernment. I was wrong. I trust that this is the right thing to do and God forgive me if it's not. Situations are proving it wrong.

Hope all is well. All is well with me and I could stay here for much longer but I know there are other things I must tend to that I am held responsible for to the Spirit.

Flying free

I've been thinking about this phrase we all may have heard:

"Let it go, and watch it fly."

I've been thinking about how sometimes in life I like to keep things close to me or see myself wanting to control or even take control. But, how can I expect something to fly if I'm still holding onto it? How can I expect something to grow if I'm still holding onto it? How can I expect something to learn if I'm still holding onto it? 

LET IT GO! WATCH IT FLY! 

It may crash, but when that happens just help it up.

I want you to fly higher than I can, 

I want you to grow taller than I am,

I want you to walk further than I've walked,

I want you to see more than I've seen,

I want you to FLY! 

 

My game

So, ever since I can remember, I have always observed people. I like to observe people and see how they act and react. The interaction of people and the world around them interest me. Since I was young I would watch shows and movies that focused on the FBI, CIA, detectives, and the thoughts of people. Now I have an issue with trying too hard to figure out people's motives. It's pretty funny how when I actually figure people's motives out, they deny what I reveal or approach them about. But, I just don't do it out of thin air. I observe people and take note in my mind what they have said in the past and how they have acted and reacted. Then I use clues from the past to figure out motives. It's a game to me. I find it fun. I guess this allows me to entertain myself sometimes. 

Just giving you a glimpse of Joey world. 

When is "ready"?

So I just watched the end of this movie for the lack of something better to do, and just saw the groom and bride decide that they were not ready to get married. They both then ran away from their wedding. This made me think about being "ready". Am I ready for any of that, let alone a relationship? I do not think I'm ready for all that quite yet. I'm too busy having fun and being busy! But when the time comes, it will come and I think then I'll be ready. 

We live in a world that likes to push and pressure us into being "ready" but I think we should take it at our own pace. Some paces may be faster than others, but we have to remember that we can set and control our own pace because we are the ones ultimately making lasting decisions. Do not make impulsive decisions in being "ready" because you might miss what you were meant to be "ready" for. 

When Your Brain Won't Stop

Have you ever experienced a situation where your brain would not stop thinking of everything that is going on at a moment in time? 

I am unable to focus on one thing right now because other stuff that keeps popping in my head as I think of other things. It's driving me crazy. 

Maybe I'm going crazy! 

When I grow up, I want to be...

Do you remember when you were a kid and said, "when I grow up, I want to be.."? Those days were the easy days because we could predict what the next two years were going to bring us (school, school, and more school) and complete this statement with no fear. 

Well, I'm 23 years old and practically asking the same question: what do I want to do when I grow up? The next two years are unpredictable. I have graduated college and thought I knew what I wanted to do but I find myself once again at a point in my life asking what do I want to do when I grow up. 

Should I remain on the path and continue my academic endeavors?

Should I be content with what I have already accomplished?

Should I explore more options? 

You can have your whole life planned out when you are ten, eighteen, or twenty-one, and still be asking: what do I want to do when I grow up? 

Why? Because..

Many changes will occur, new ideas will be manufactured in your brain, new perspectives will be taken, and wisdom and knowledge will grow. 

So with all that said, when I grow up I want to be...

Starbucks, I have wronged you

I had a horrible experience in the past with a certain Starbucks. The customer service level did not measure to the standards or mission statements that are publicly displayed on the website. This made me frustrated. So, I decided to not visit that Starbucks location in the future. This past week, Derrick spoke about forgiving those who you think have wronged you. After prayer this morning, I was convicted of not showing forgiveness to Starbucks. This may seem small to some, but to those who have heard me speak about my experience know how passionate I was about this issue I encountered and customer service levels. 

You don't even have to be spiritual to know that you should let things go and not hold on to any wrongs. And we've all heard the saying to forgive and forget. One thing I am not good at is the forgetting part. I will always have the memory but I can tell you that I can forgive. With all that, I forgive you Starbucks. But, this does not mean I will forget because my memory does not allow me to do that. 

I hope Starbucks can forgive me. 

Fading to what

As I sit in a place of worship, I can not recall a time when I didn't think of one of my friends who should be sitting in a place of worship. Sometimes it hurts me because I know they are missing something in life. They tell me that they are missing something in life and when I examine their lives, I know exactly what they are missing. I get excited when they come to a place of worship and speak highly of it. They say they love it and will come back. But tomorrow brings the same "stuff" they encounter everyday. Then they get bogged down by LIFE. They get roped back into what they just gave the Cross the night before. What happens then?  Can we be their "tomorrow" and be the bridge to the Cross for them until they realize that they have the strength to worship daily on their own? I'm convicted every time I think of a friend that I know does not have a bridge, because I should be that bridge. 

Kid at Heart

I attended Kids church today and was inspired. I watched the kids as they sang and danced around the entire room with so much energy. They were having pure fun. Girls screaming the song while the boys had their arms out to their sides and were trying to fly because the song was about superheroes. I remember when I was that young and had so much fun anywhere that had music and I was free to go around the room while I was dancing and singing. Why don't we do that anymore? Are we scared? Are we embarrassed? Do we feel restrained because we might scare people away? Let the kid come out again and have some fun when you hear the music. JUMP, SCREAM, SING OUT LOUD! FLY AGAIN! 

Music Not For Me?

The other night as I was listening to a song, I began to tear up. (Yes, I do have a sensitive side) The music brought me back to a time when I was in love with music. I loved music so much but as time went by, the arts started to fade in my heart because of critics. I use to be very involved with the arts but just feared critics. I was scared of what they said, I was scared of what they would share, I was scared they would crush me. Why do I have this fear? I can give a speech in front of 300 people and not be scared. This fear has caused me to dislike music and the arts. I won't try because of this fear. 

Fear can take control of your life like it has mine. And still continues to control this aspect of my life but I am slowly trying to overcome this fear. Let fear not take over because you begin to miss things in life like singing with friends, and may cause your life to come to standstill that will not allow you to move forward in certain areas of your life. 

Life devoted to buttons with letters

Well, this is my first post and I find it necessary to explain the title. The title is a nickname of mine that was given to me by a good friend named Jason. He just decided to call be "Broey" one day and it stuck. It can be interchanged with "Broseph." 

I have been bugged, picked at, persuaded, and nudged to get a blog and here it is. I finally have taken the step to blog. I hope this is worth the while. 

Anyways, my life is devoted to buttons with letters and numbers. I am on my computer all the time and actually have to take Saturday off to make sure that my hands do not become permanently attached to my Macbook. My life now consist of many electronic/media outlets. I have a cellphone, macbook, facebook, twitter, and now a blog (also had a myspace but that just didn't work well for me). This is disturbing to me at the moment just because the amount of time we spend on electronics is vast, but this is not news to us. We all know that we spend a lot of time on these devices and outlets. How accessible do we want to be? According to what "everyone" is doing, the answer is: VERY ACCESSIBLE! Call from a cellphone, email on computer along with facebook and other networking tanks, twitter to inform others of your doings, and blogs to tell the whole world what you thing. People want to know what you are doing and we inform them. Just remember, step away from the outlets once in awhile and remember the organic environment around you. Do not be consumed by electronic devices 24/7. Go out and enjoy what was not created by human hands.